Even though I'm scared to death Lois has to have surgery Monday, I was able to have several peaceful, happy moments with her today. Napping in the dappled sunlight, her soft breathing and the cawing of crows the only sounds. Her smile as she ventures forth to dig in the dirt and chew grass. Her soft snore as I rub her belly in the evening.
I'm able to grasp nanosecond moments of peace in between all my "feel like shit"-eyness. Noticing the Spring, the colors, the breeze, how the azaleas are fuller this year. Feeling grateful for that.
I can realize that this feeling won't last forever, even though sometimes it sure feels like it. I will feel good again someday. Maybe even someday soon.